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Breastmilk on the walls and a sad goodbye - Pt. 1

Over the last few months I've been more and more conscious of my body physically changing. Chemo, steroids and ovarian suppression are HARD on the body. I've been learning to deal with the ups and downs and the constant changes, but I'm not comfortable with where I am currently. I'm the most out of shape I've ever been and at my highest non-pregnancy weight of my life. People say that it's easier to see change in someone else when you don't see them every single day, but it can also be "easy" to see those changes when they are happening on, or to, your body. Also, it can be terrifying.

In the very beginning of 2014, I found out I was pregnant. One week after NYE and it was the best and scariest surprise of our lives. We prepped and planned and cried. We were scared and excited and celebrated, celebrated, celebrated. When Eveleigh was born, she was perfect (somehow she remains perfect to this day), and I was healing "well" despite the fee…

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