She told me she just had her boobs done, too, and she completely understood.

I went to return a few things at Nordstrom earlier in the week - it was actually the first time I had an experience that made me feel awkward or uncomfortable, since my diagnosis and surgery.

The woman helping me ended up telling me that she also purchased the bra I was about to purchase and that it not only ran super small, but was so uncomfortable that she returned it. She said she was happy that I was purchasing a large because she knew it would work for me, since I wouldn't normally need a large. I really appreciated the information and said that I would just quickly switch out the bra for a different, more comfortable one.

I'm needing tops larger these days, even though I don't have a massive party happening in my boob region. I want to make sure I'm "comfortable" because I can't feel sensation and I want to make sure I'm not constricting anything, creating irritation, etc. She reiterated many times that I was buying a large and would be fine, but didn't take into consideration that I was buying the same size in a different style that she and I already talk about, which has an entirely different (and larger) fit. She had JUST told me that sizing was not comparable and that the other, cuter, bra ran really small. I told her again that I'd forego the cute one and get another sports bra and tried to make it all make a bit more sense by letting her know that I recently had surgery and just needed something large enough to fully fit, remain comfortable and not irritate anything. 

She told me she just had her boobs done, too, and she completely understood.

It sort of hit me then that I've been wanting to remain feeling like myself and not feel that every person I pass will understand what's going on with my health, but simultaneously reminded me that strangers can't tell that I have cancer and will just think my life is healthy and happy and consists of randomly buying bras on a Tuesday, just for fun...

I hope that I am lucky enough for that to be something that I get used to, but for now it's just a little bit weird :/

xo.