Hair loss, sideburns, aloe vera gel and bad decisions...

So, the hair loss started a few weeks ago. It was about 14 days after my first round of chemo and I very gently brushed my hair. I had a far more significant level of "shedding" than ever before and it was clear that I was losing my hair. I definitely knew it would happen and had a general idea of when, but I didn't know how things would really pan out and how much I would lose. I'm using cold caps (https://penguincoldcaps.com/us/) and the results are very individual -- some people keep all of their hair and some people keep none of their hair and there was no telling where I was going to land. The idea of losing my hair was so vastly different from the actual experience of losing it. Starting to see my scalp peeking through the hair has been so hard to attempt to get used to. It has already been a few weeks since this all started and I'm still really trying to adjust.


Truth post: This is the norm when brushing my hair these days.

I have heard that the most common place to have your hair thin, or lose it completely, is the "band" of hair from your ears/sideburn area all the way around the back and to the other ear/sideburn, which is exactly what's happening with me... It's an unintentional undercut. If this thinning path continues, I'm fully prepared to shave an actual undercut and seriously henna tattoo* my scalp. At least until I would have enough hair for a rad shaved design.

As an added bonus, my scalp isn't supposed to get hot or sweaty at all during these chemo months. That coupled with the instruction to ONLY wear my hair down, with no styling and no products 100% of the time, doesn't work. Wearing my hair down is like covering me with a heating blanket. As a result, I'm wearing a lot of super loose buns (pretty rad timing that octopus buns are hot right now), low braids, hats and big earrings and hoping for the best over here.




My mom bought this hat for my dad years ago.
He had a thing about ALWAYS saying "Hats are coming back!"
Lucky for me, he was right.

Still easily hiding the areas that are thinning

Boom. Sniper reveal.

I'm someone who has always loved changing my hair, even when it hasn't gone well. I think it all started when my sister decided to go rogue and cut very short and very uneven bangs for us as children (we had to be 2 & 4 or 3 & 5). That experience must have given way to the path that lead me, when I was 11 years old, to choose a new haircut from one of the big and fabulous hair books that salons used to display...

And I chose a fucking bob (ELEVEN YEARS OLD) with layered SIDE BURNS that you were supposed gel to your face.

LITERALLY GEL TO YOUR FACE!**

So, I'm guessing that bad decision really propped that door permanently open and left me fully comfortable to continue to experiment with my hair when I got older.

Like the time I:

Accidentally bleached ONLY my roots

The time my fire-engine red hair and my platinum blonde hair turned into flamingo pink hair (why didn't I see that one coming?!)

The time I was just gong to "trim" my very long hair and ended up with a chin length hacksaw bob because I wanted it to be "even"

The time I bleached my own hair from blue black to platinum blonde and so much of it broke off from the intensity of MANY beastly bleaching sessions that I wore fake flowers in my hair, as cover up, for over a year

The list actually really goes on, but you get it. I'm definitely not immune or even against bad hair decisions, hair adventures, unintentional outcomes, etc. I'm really trying to take this whole hair thinning thing in stride, but that paired with the fact that I have a small chunk of eyelashes missing from my left eye and I accidentally pulled out a chunk of my right eyebrow yesterday, stride resumes tomorrow.

xo.



*Do I know anyone who knows anyone who knows any henna artists in Los Angeles? Please introduce me!

**And because my mom was wonderful and incredibly health conscious and kept us away from nasty chemicals (always before her time with these things), it meant that I wasn't allowed to wear actual hair gel when I got that gorgeous bob as an 11 year old. But I needed to be able to gel my new sideburns to my actual fucking face (TO MY FACE). So, I beat the system with aloe vera gel.

Comments

  1. I hope it's ok that I laughed throughout reading this. If not I did anyway! I'm glad to hear you have a history of hair experimentation. This will serve you well as you add a new, albeit forced upon you experiment to your repertoire. Interestingly, Kirk's hair always started vacating the premises at 14 days. I could not get the clippers out fast enough to shave his head. Of course he looked like Patrick Stuart then so that wasn't awful. Then it became fun to see when and how it would return. Always it was blacker and thicker then ever except the one time it was kinky and wavy. Not my fav. He didn't care. I totally get the struggle with the idea of it falling out vs the reality. But sounds like you're pretty realistic about all this and realize it is just hair and will come back in potentially surprising new ways. That does not negate the fact that it is not something you'd choose to deal with now or ever in any situation and I wish you didn't have to. Thanks again for the trip down your hair style memory lane. Most amusing in the midst of something that is anything but. You're doing great my dear. Just great. Hair or no hair.

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  2. Laughing while crying as we read your blog is unavoidable. You truly share your moms talent for speaking truth to important experiences and heavy issues while making us pee our pants.

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    1. That's from Sharai, but Michael sends his love too!

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