Chemo Transpo System and Apple Juice
I had my portacath put into my right arm this week. It will serve as my one stop shop for everything health, cancer and chemo related for the next several months and will mean that I, luckily, have a central location for (hopefully) every holy hell jab 'n' stab from here on out.
But... it's a bitch right now, as it's healing. It's swollen, it throbs, it's pink, red and purple (NOT a great display of valentine's day colors) and overall it just hurts. But, my nurse may have been worse.
I checked in and was shown to my "room" (basically a hospital cubical) and was given a cup to pee in. This isn't surprising, but also you're never warned about it. You never hear "come ready to pee!" so I didn't. I stopped drinking water at midnight and had peed MANY times in the 12 hours since...
They want the urine test to know if you're pregnant... No, I'm not pregnant, and no, I don't want to be pregnant RIGHT NOW, but her "well good, it's negative hahaha" was a liiiittle unnecessary. Are you laughing because I'm not pregnant? Are you laughing because I gave you 3 1/2 drops of pee because 2 different pre-op people called me to prep me and told me 2 different things...? Are you laughing because you haven't slept? I haven't either.
I was told no food and no water in one pre-op call and then no food BUT clear liquids up to 3 hours before my procedure were ok by the other. I confirmed with the 2nd woman who called, but then I didn't trust her... Why was the information different?! Who was right?! I wasn't going to show up 8 glasses of water in and be turned away. It's port time, bitches, so I was going to be safe and get this done.
In both pre-op calls, however, I was told that after I stop all fluids and solids, I absolutely cannot have milk and candy, as they are definitely not allowed.
Yeah... I was not raised to believe that milk and candy are even things to frequently consume let alone equivalent to WATER... WTF.
(Also, how many people are regularly chowing down on milk AND candy that those are the things they specified?!)
My nurse had to have someone else help her with the intake (luckily, for me) and he was amazing. I wish he had been my nurse. My actual nurse seemed seriously off her game and didn't seem capable of finding, let alone actually reading through, the few sheets of paper that the admissions woman gave me when I checked in, but she *tried* by adamantly insisting that my admissions paperwork was missing (despite being directly in front of her, where I put it), then asked me 5 (FIVE) times which medications I was on:
Her: Are you taking any medications?
Me: No. No medications.
Her: Ok, but are you taking any medications? (as she's typing)
Me: No... Nothing.
Her: Ok, but, so, tylenol, advil... (typing...)
Me: No, I'm not taking anything. I occasionally take acetaminophen or ibuprofen, but I was instructed not to take any ibuprofen and also haven't taken any acetaminophen prior to this procedure, so, no, I haven't taken anything for a week. I am not taking anything.
Her: Ok, so any tylenol or advil? (WHAT ARE YOU STILL TYPING??? I KEEP SAYING NO!)
Me: NO. That's why I just said that I sometimes take them but HAVE NOT taken them due to having this procedure today, so, NO, I have not taken anything at all. Everything on your screen is inaccurate. It is outdated. I have not taken any of it.
Her: Ok... (typing) So... some tylenol? some advil? vitamin c?
[I DO NOT LIKE YOU AT ALL]
Luckily the anesthesiology nurse was amazing and described the medication I would be getting (to relax me going in to the operating room) as "giggle juice" and she was definitely right...
I had the same thing going into my mastectomy (apparently) and both times, within about 20-30 seconds, I just started laughing. This time, I remember saying "Well, it's definitely working" as they wheeled me away from my husband and then burst out laughing as we went through the double doors and into the operating room. I moved onto the operating table, had the oxygen mask put on and then
.....................................
I woke up to a nurse telling me that everything went well and that they would be calling my husband.
She came back and told me they would find my husband...
She then came back and told me she had to go because she had a patient who wasn't stable (luckily not me, sending good vibes to that person) and would be back.
Then someone else came and said they would be calling my husband... A nurse? I don't know?
Meanwhile I'm in the bed closest to the double doors, pretty medicated and chilling, and I see everyone coming and going, but also have no way of actually functioning and my husband had my phone... So I was just trying to relax.
The nurse then came back and brought me apple juice (which I despise, but drank anyway because I hadn't had any food or liquids for roughly 15 hours at that point) and she then said she would find my husband.
Then my recovery nurse came back and moved the cup of ice that previously held my apple juice - the table was too far for me to reach. And then she left again.
Where was my husband?!
A different nurse came after a while and finally found him.
It turns out they actually HAD called him when the procedure was done but didn't allow him up or tell him how to get to me, so he was WTF'ing for about an hour while I was medicated and drinking apple juice in a hospital bed cubical by myself. None of it was terrible, but UCLA Santa Monica Outpatient Surgery might have a few kinks to work out.
Overall, it got done and I now have a full chemo transportation system ready to flow through my body and make this healing happen.
xo.
But... it's a bitch right now, as it's healing. It's swollen, it throbs, it's pink, red and purple (NOT a great display of valentine's day colors) and overall it just hurts. But, my nurse may have been worse.
I checked in and was shown to my "room" (basically a hospital cubical) and was given a cup to pee in. This isn't surprising, but also you're never warned about it. You never hear "come ready to pee!" so I didn't. I stopped drinking water at midnight and had peed MANY times in the 12 hours since...
They want the urine test to know if you're pregnant... No, I'm not pregnant, and no, I don't want to be pregnant RIGHT NOW, but her "well good, it's negative hahaha" was a liiiittle unnecessary. Are you laughing because I'm not pregnant? Are you laughing because I gave you 3 1/2 drops of pee because 2 different pre-op people called me to prep me and told me 2 different things...? Are you laughing because you haven't slept? I haven't either.
I was told no food and no water in one pre-op call and then no food BUT clear liquids up to 3 hours before my procedure were ok by the other. I confirmed with the 2nd woman who called, but then I didn't trust her... Why was the information different?! Who was right?! I wasn't going to show up 8 glasses of water in and be turned away. It's port time, bitches, so I was going to be safe and get this done.
In both pre-op calls, however, I was told that after I stop all fluids and solids, I absolutely cannot have milk and candy, as they are definitely not allowed.
Yeah... I was not raised to believe that milk and candy are even things to frequently consume let alone equivalent to WATER... WTF.
(Also, how many people are regularly chowing down on milk AND candy that those are the things they specified?!)
My nurse had to have someone else help her with the intake (luckily, for me) and he was amazing. I wish he had been my nurse. My actual nurse seemed seriously off her game and didn't seem capable of finding, let alone actually reading through, the few sheets of paper that the admissions woman gave me when I checked in, but she *tried* by adamantly insisting that my admissions paperwork was missing (despite being directly in front of her, where I put it), then asked me 5 (FIVE) times which medications I was on:
Her: Are you taking any medications?
Me: No. No medications.
Her: Ok, but are you taking any medications? (as she's typing)
Me: No... Nothing.
Her: Ok, but, so, tylenol, advil... (typing...)
Me: No, I'm not taking anything. I occasionally take acetaminophen or ibuprofen, but I was instructed not to take any ibuprofen and also haven't taken any acetaminophen prior to this procedure, so, no, I haven't taken anything for a week. I am not taking anything.
Her: Ok, so any tylenol or advil? (WHAT ARE YOU STILL TYPING??? I KEEP SAYING NO!)
Me: NO. That's why I just said that I sometimes take them but HAVE NOT taken them due to having this procedure today, so, NO, I have not taken anything at all. Everything on your screen is inaccurate. It is outdated. I have not taken any of it.
Her: Ok... (typing) So... some tylenol? some advil? vitamin c?
[I DO NOT LIKE YOU AT ALL]
Luckily the anesthesiology nurse was amazing and described the medication I would be getting (to relax me going in to the operating room) as "giggle juice" and she was definitely right...
I had the same thing going into my mastectomy (apparently) and both times, within about 20-30 seconds, I just started laughing. This time, I remember saying "Well, it's definitely working" as they wheeled me away from my husband and then burst out laughing as we went through the double doors and into the operating room. I moved onto the operating table, had the oxygen mask put on and then
.....................................
I woke up to a nurse telling me that everything went well and that they would be calling my husband.
She came back and told me they would find my husband...
She then came back and told me she had to go because she had a patient who wasn't stable (luckily not me, sending good vibes to that person) and would be back.
Then someone else came and said they would be calling my husband... A nurse? I don't know?
Meanwhile I'm in the bed closest to the double doors, pretty medicated and chilling, and I see everyone coming and going, but also have no way of actually functioning and my husband had my phone... So I was just trying to relax.
The nurse then came back and brought me apple juice (which I despise, but drank anyway because I hadn't had any food or liquids for roughly 15 hours at that point) and she then said she would find my husband.
Then my recovery nurse came back and moved the cup of ice that previously held my apple juice - the table was too far for me to reach. And then she left again.
Where was my husband?!
A different nurse came after a while and finally found him.
It turns out they actually HAD called him when the procedure was done but didn't allow him up or tell him how to get to me, so he was WTF'ing for about an hour while I was medicated and drinking apple juice in a hospital bed cubical by myself. None of it was terrible, but UCLA Santa Monica Outpatient Surgery might have a few kinks to work out.
Overall, it got done and I now have a full chemo transportation system ready to flow through my body and make this healing happen.
xo.
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