I'm Still Here!

I finished my 2nd round of chemo 2 weeks ago and I'm still here!

I've had some great days in between infusions, more than I expected, and some very difficult days. Chemo side effects are charging at me, but I'm learning how to deal, even if that means some extra time in bed, trying something I didn't think would help or just merely greasing the squeakiest wheel at the time. When you can't address everything? Address something. I know it may change, increase or become far more dramatic with subsequent rounds, so I am trying to keep that in perspective and be grateful for the good times and the days that I am able to function. I try not to focus too intently on the difficult days, although that's WAY easier said than done. The bad days and/or nights don't last forever, and I do really know that, so I just keep reminding myself to power through the hell. Things have definitely been manageable, but chemo is a serious fucking diva and "she" needed a little extra "managing" with this round. That bitch.

***Reminder: I started this blog as a way to be honest about my experience, whatever that means. To be real, even if that's unpleasant. I'm not a novelist and I'm not interested in telling a grand tale of how easily I floated through chemo. Sometimes this process will be unpleasant for me, sometimes for you, but I don't see any point to writing these blogs unless it's completely true to my experience, my life and who I am. And that means that you're all completely responsible for pulling back and giving the blog a break when you don't want my cancer experience leaping out at you like a creeper leprechaun in the night.***

The difficult and annoying effects of chemo have arrived: flu-like skin aching, bone pain and joint twinges, fever, exhaustion, headache, digestive issues (fuuuuck that), food and smell aversion and loss of appetite. Luckily, none of it has been to the extreme and the side effects have been staggered. In theory I'm a rip the band aid off kind of person, but in THIS particular experience, I'm cool with spreading these things out over a few days.

I spent a couple of days after my last round in bed, resting, occasionally eating sourdough toast or plain pasta and drinking tea, binge watching an entire season of Jane the Virgin (I don't really like the show and definitely don't recommend anyone watch it, but I also can't seem to personally stop watching it. I don't know wtf that says about me.) and staying on top of taking my CBD oil (The Oil from https://www.sanasanawellness.com) and THC mints (http://kivaconfections.com/products/petra). It actually sounds pleasant when I read what I've written about the time, but it was anything but.

Documenting the process with selfies.
Me in the midst of a fever, body aches, joint twinges, exhaustion, digestive issues and loss of appetite.

However, my use of cannabis products this round has meant that I'm fully managing this process and my side effects without prescription meds, which has been pretty invaluable to me. I'm a relatively medication-free person and don't like to take anything I don't actually have to take and really despise the fuzzy medicated feeling. During this process, I keep being "reminded" to just take more meds. FOR EVERYTHING. I have 13 prescription medication bottles in our cupboard and a whoooooole slew of OTC meds. It's a rabbit hole I'd rather not go too far down and a practice that I don't want for my body. I don't know why I got cancer in the first place or how long my body actually fought it off or how hard it's been working or for how long. So, those bottles are all staying in the cupboard, at least for now.

Next Thursday I'll go for my 3rd round of chemo, 3 of 6! I'm really, really happy and relieved to be heading toward the halfway mark for this part of treatment and still be functioning and still with most of my hair on my head! My next post will be all about the hair adventure...

xo.




Comments

Popular Posts