Cashmere Everything!
Yesterday was 3 weeks post-surgery for me and, pleasantly, things are improving. They are also becoming so real right now. We aren't in crisis mode, doctor appointments have seriously slowed, my pain has been very manageable for the last several days, I'm a few weeks away from chemo, I'm functioning and we are living life.
I'm still a bit unsure about the cold cap situation, which means I'm looking to prepare myself for it AND for losing my hair, if I choose not to do it. I'm leaning toward doing it, as I have heard positive results and my doctors have given the go-ahead, but it's all a bit confusing and there is no guarantee that it will work for me. I'm thinking about getting a wig or two so that if it doesn't work, I'm not totally shit out of luck and don't have to go wig shopping while I'm feeling really uncomfortable and/or self-conscious. Also, that will give me the opportunity to start referring to myself as Notorious W.I.G.
I spent much of this past weekend living normal life and spending time with my husband and daughter. I also spent some dedicated time looking into cold caps and scalp-cooling studies, wig shops/makers, searching for comfy and soft "chemo uniform" clothes online, researching and purchasing natural deodorants -- shockingly, it's about time I dispose of my beloved, filled-with-aluminum, Secret antiperspirant. RIP Secret, you were very cherished. Also, if I smell like bark, dirt and slugs next time you see me, well, that's probs what the natural stuff is made from. I also found and ordered eyebrow makeup that is water and smudge proof (you better wooork, Wunderbrow!), as many women lose their eyebrows and lashes during chemo (bonus).
Something I never thought about before?
Mapping my eyebrows.
It's been interesting trying to navigate how to go about all of this, and it's definitely been frustrating to have to sift through mountains of internet information with the hope that something might be helpful. I want to be prepared and I'm spending a lot of time to that end. I have been overwhelmingly blessed with information and with offers of being put in contact with people and resources, but getting through all of these offers of help and resources can be so challenging - attempting to determine what might be helpful to me could become a full time job, except I have one of those.
I read a list over the weekend that someone posted in a breast cancer Facebook group that I'm in, it's not recent (2010), but is still pretty widely circulated - 11 tips to get you through chemo (I'm not linking to it because it annoyed the shit out of me, but it's all over, including Oprah.com). It was helpful in a mild sense, with a couple of basic tip ideas or inspiration that I added to my "Survive Chemo" list, but I couldn't help but realize how privileged this woman was and how vastly different cancer experiences can be. Yes, clearly we are all individuals, but this article was speaking to the masses in a way that distinctly illustrated how much this woman doesn't know about a regular person cancer and chemo experience. I'm aware that I am also extremely fortunate in my experience with this situation, much more so than many, and I also recognize that I was just talking about elective cold caps and glitter eyebrows, but this woman's privilege was beyond.
An actual excerpt, recounting her chemo uniform purchase: "I went to Max Mara and got comfy leggings, long, cozy, sleek sweaters, furry boots (like Uggs)—cashmere everything."
I just wish I knew this woman so that I could ask her if she is fucking kidding and also yell at her to LEAVE THE CASHMERE ON THE GOATS!!!!!
xo.
I'm still a bit unsure about the cold cap situation, which means I'm looking to prepare myself for it AND for losing my hair, if I choose not to do it. I'm leaning toward doing it, as I have heard positive results and my doctors have given the go-ahead, but it's all a bit confusing and there is no guarantee that it will work for me. I'm thinking about getting a wig or two so that if it doesn't work, I'm not totally shit out of luck and don't have to go wig shopping while I'm feeling really uncomfortable and/or self-conscious. Also, that will give me the opportunity to start referring to myself as Notorious W.I.G.
I spent much of this past weekend living normal life and spending time with my husband and daughter. I also spent some dedicated time looking into cold caps and scalp-cooling studies, wig shops/makers, searching for comfy and soft "chemo uniform" clothes online, researching and purchasing natural deodorants -- shockingly, it's about time I dispose of my beloved, filled-with-aluminum, Secret antiperspirant. RIP Secret, you were very cherished. Also, if I smell like bark, dirt and slugs next time you see me, well, that's probs what the natural stuff is made from. I also found and ordered eyebrow makeup that is water and smudge proof (you better wooork, Wunderbrow!), as many women lose their eyebrows and lashes during chemo (bonus).
Something I never thought about before?
Mapping my eyebrows.
How do I do this? NO CLUE. Sharpie? Measurements? Eyeball it? Close up photos of my face as a guideline? You can't just slap some drawn on brows anywhere you want and expect not to look like an evil villain.
Now that microblading exists, a lot of women choose that prior to chemo. It's tattooing individual eyebrow hairs and looks pretty great. It isn't permanent, but is more of a long lasting temporary, but... you're still technically tattooing your face and let's all face reality - if I was going to do that, it'd be a tear drop.
So creating brows might be a lot of trial and a lot of error and a lot of frantic facetiming my bestie, Kimberly (a makeup artist and eyebrow specialist, who has wrangled my sad, over-tweezed as a teen, brows for about 10 years now), with brows drawn high on my forehead and asking for her to fix me. I also might decide to just make glitter brows, because if they are going to be fucked up and they are going to be in the wrong place, the least they can do is temporarily blind you in the sun so you really just can't see me anymore.
So creating brows might be a lot of trial and a lot of error and a lot of frantic facetiming my bestie, Kimberly (a makeup artist and eyebrow specialist, who has wrangled my sad, over-tweezed as a teen, brows for about 10 years now), with brows drawn high on my forehead and asking for her to fix me. I also might decide to just make glitter brows, because if they are going to be fucked up and they are going to be in the wrong place, the least they can do is temporarily blind you in the sun so you really just can't see me anymore.
It's been interesting trying to navigate how to go about all of this, and it's definitely been frustrating to have to sift through mountains of internet information with the hope that something might be helpful. I want to be prepared and I'm spending a lot of time to that end. I have been overwhelmingly blessed with information and with offers of being put in contact with people and resources, but getting through all of these offers of help and resources can be so challenging - attempting to determine what might be helpful to me could become a full time job, except I have one of those.
I read a list over the weekend that someone posted in a breast cancer Facebook group that I'm in, it's not recent (2010), but is still pretty widely circulated - 11 tips to get you through chemo (I'm not linking to it because it annoyed the shit out of me, but it's all over, including Oprah.com). It was helpful in a mild sense, with a couple of basic tip ideas or inspiration that I added to my "Survive Chemo" list, but I couldn't help but realize how privileged this woman was and how vastly different cancer experiences can be. Yes, clearly we are all individuals, but this article was speaking to the masses in a way that distinctly illustrated how much this woman doesn't know about a regular person cancer and chemo experience. I'm aware that I am also extremely fortunate in my experience with this situation, much more so than many, and I also recognize that I was just talking about elective cold caps and glitter eyebrows, but this woman's privilege was beyond.
An actual excerpt, recounting her chemo uniform purchase: "I went to Max Mara and got comfy leggings, long, cozy, sleek sweaters, furry boots (like Uggs)—cashmere everything."
I just wish I knew this woman so that I could ask her if she is fucking kidding and also yell at her to LEAVE THE CASHMERE ON THE GOATS!!!!!
xo.
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